Allow myself to introduce myself... User ("you") meet
("Service", "we", "us", "the royal we", "web site"), Mister Archer meet you ("User"... yep, that's a circular loop designed to shortcircuit any robots).
But let's drop the formalities for a moment. We're always excited to have new people come to our undiscovered web site. In particular, to be graced by someone with not just a graduate degree, but a JD (why else would you read the Ts & Cs?)... well, we are honored, your honor (unless you are here to sue us). In the spirit of "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em," we're always in the market for talent; so please check out our jobs page
Now, the User Agreement! Hopefully, you'll enjoy our wistful thoughts regarding liability, privacy, policies, and other relevant yada yada ("Yada yada" as defined in the 153rd episode of the American sitcom Seinfeld). If necessity is the mother of all inventions, the terms and conditions are the midwives, gotta protect our babies.
(1) ACCEPTANCE OF THE USER AGREEMENT
Please commit the following to memory (or, at a minimum, read) this "User Agreement" before using our Service. By continuing to use Mister Archer, you agree to abide by the terms and conditions of this User Agreement. The law is no laughing matter. But we hope that you are endowed with the six senses... you know, the sense of sight, sense of sound, sense of touch, sense of taste, sense of smell, and obviously, the sense of humor. The sense of humor might not be a prerequisite to using this site, but it certainly would increase your enjoyment.
(2) MODIFICATIONS TO THIS USER AGREEMENT
We reserve the right to change, modify, transition, wordsmith, augment, tweak, accessorize, nip & tuck the terms of this User Agreement or any characteristics of this Service at any time (even after sundown!) without notice. And you agree to be bound by such changes. Any changes to this User Agreement shall become a part of this User Agreement and shall apply as soon as they are posted to the web site. The most current version of the User Agreement can be viewed at any time at MisterArcher.com/terms
. (If you can't locate them there, please give us a shout because our host servers must be down. Hey, what are you doing reading this if our servers are down?)
All text, files, images, photos, video, or other materials ("Content") posted on, transmitted through, or linked from the Service, are the property of Mister Archer, unless otherwise noted. We do not make any warranties or representations regarding the accuracy, comprehensiveness, timeliness, or "kosherness" of the Content. The Content is provided for entertainment purposes only. (The only exception is this User Agreement which is serious... deadly serious!) If you rely on this Service, you do so solely at your own risk.
Content available through the Service may contain links to other websites, which are completely independent of Mister Archer. We make no representation or warranty as to the accuracy, completeness or authenticity of the information contained in any such site. Your linking to any other websites is at your own risk, much like bungee jumping.
(4) COPYRIGHT & COPYLEFT
Mister Archer might at times masquerade as an Englishman with a British accent, but he is a patriotic American. We believe in the 2nd Amendment right to bear arms. We also believe in the right to arm bears. We respect your intellectual property and, likewise, we appreciate that you respect our intellectual property. It wouldn't be that cool if we had to bundle up this entire site in a bear bag to protect against a nightly raid of our site. The Service is protected to the maximum extent permitted by copyright laws and international treaties. In some countries, we might be better off protecting this site with bear bags.
Mister Archer permits you to selectively display on your web site, or create a hyperlink on your web site to individual Content for your personal, non-commercial use or records, provided that any marks, logos or other legends that appear on the copied material persist and you provide a citation with a hyperlink to the original material. If the number of of such postings displayed or linked to on your web site exceeds ninety-nine (99), your use will be presumed to be in violation of the User Agreement absent express permission granted by Mister Archer.
MISTER ARCHER is a registered mark in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
As Justice O'Connor concludes, "the sine qua non of copyright is originality." There might be a spark or two of creativity and originality here, but try to cite Feist Publications vs Rural Telephone Service if you want to heavily borrow our creative works. You probably won't win though since Mister Archer's Insiders Guide ain't no phone directory.
And, we are big fans of Lawrence Lessig and the Copyleft movement. "All Rights Reversed"... now that is not only funny but progressive. We will further explore the Copyleft structure to evaluate whether appropriate to modify our User Agreement.
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Shakespeare, William, "Romeo and Juliet" (II, ii, 1-2)
But your name does matter. And so does your email address or else we wouldn't be able to share our Insider's Guide.
Like you, Mister Archer hates spam. And I mean HATES spam. Thus, Mister Archer will not sell, rent or share your personal information, including your e-mail address, with any third parties for marketing purposes without your express permission. Mister Archer may share your personal information for the purpose of delivering our e-mail to you or as required by law.
To make future improvements to our Service and create a more customized experience, we may solicit non-personally identifiable information (e.g., demographic data); though the User will have full discretion. We may selectively share this information with others (e.g., potential advertisers) in aggregate, anonymous form.
As Warren Buffett says, "It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently." Agreed!
(6) CARDMEMBER AGREEMENT
Congratulations! You must have met Mister Archer roaming the streets of San Francisco. As a recipient of Mister Archers business card, you now have access to events for those in-the-know. This card is not transferable and the rights and privileges may be revoked at any time. Mister Archer respects your privacy. Likewise, please respect his privacy too.
(7) INDEMNIFICATION AND LIMITS OF LIABILITY
You agree to defend, indemnify and hold harmless Mister Archer and his posse, including officers, employees, agents, sponsors, advertisers, affiliates, successors, future offspring, the twinkle in his father's eye, and his sperm from any liability to any party (a) for any consequential or incidental damages of any kind, including, without limitation, lost or foregone revenue, adversely impacted business, loss of data, arising from the use of, reliance on, or metaphysical use of the web site, email or other content; or (b) for any claim attributable to the errors, omissions, and even boners in this web site. Any claim against us shall be limited to the amount you paid, if any, for use of this Service. This defense and indemnification obligation will survive any termination of this Agreement or your access to the Services.
This Agreement shall be governed by the Federal laws of the United States and laws of the State of California, applicable to agreements made and to be performed therein without regard to conflict of laws principles. By continuing to use this Service, you agree to abide by the Terms and Conditions of this User Agreement.
May the light in you reflect the light in me. Namaste!